Family Bonding and Art Therapy: an Experience.

"Community ritual, in essence, is an opportunity for renewal."

Naomi Ortiz

Photograph of my grandmother's hand and mine taken after the workshops in Chalco.

When I think of family, I don't just think of the traditional family structure, which includes people you're related to by blood, marriage, or adoption. I believe that you can choose family and that it doesn't need a written contract or ceremony, like: close friends, partners in non-married relationships, and pets. Now, the experiences I'm going to refer to focus on the bonds between parents and their progeny.

On May 17th and 18th, I facilitated two creative experiences that addressed family bonds (with a special focus on the mother-child bond) in Chalco, Estado de Mexico, Mexico. In initial conversations with the venues, they requested activities addressing this topic because of its proximity to Mother's Day (in Mexico, it's celebrated on May 10th). I proposed a creative experience to strengthen and celebrate the bond between mothers and their progeny and for it to be for people older than 16. I was interested in creating a space to reflect on motherhood beyond taking care of infants, for example, how bonds change as we grow into adults, how to repair bonds that have been eroded or broken, what keeps the desire to continue the bond alive when we feel emotional distance, how to communicate our needs within the bond in ways that feel constructive. However, in response to the needs of the communities that attend those venues, the proposals underwent some adjustments:

• The Casa del Café cultural forum's group was for mothers, grandmothers, and progeny. (Open to folks from 10 years old and up, no maximum age limit). The invitation was open to the general public and shared on their social media and mine.

• The second group was held at the CODECU Atlazalpan Multidisciplinary Center in the town of San Pablo, in Chalco. The group was for fathers, mothers, and progeny. (Open to people from 10 years old and up, no maximum age limit). The invitation was closed and exclusive to members of their community. (No photographic documentation of the activities was taken).

There was a wide age range between those who participated, going from 10 to 84 years old. Some parts of the activities and instructions were modified in situ for the younger children to understand them, feel comfortable, and enjoy doing them.

Promocional generado por la Casa del Café para la experiencia creativa para madres e hij@s.

The community was invited with this message: "Have you shared from a place of creativity and calm how you want to be loved, what you need, what you are grateful for and admire about what you have shared so far? This is a creative space that utilizes art therapy tools to foster reflection on the bond between mother and child. No prior experience in the arts is required." The proposed activity sought to generate a moment of creative bonding that could -in addition to resulting in a positive shared experience- be a space to reflect on the bond as it is today, how it has been, and how we want it to be. As Dafna Regev and Sharon Snir argue in their therapeutic work (they focus only on working with mothers, fathers, and their childhoods), with parent-child dyads, the incorporation of art-making into the therapeutic process helps with two objectives: "the creation of an interpersonal interaction as a space for change and giving parent and the child the opportunity to observe and examine their internal representations through artwork." Likewise, through it I wanted to foster 4 of the therapeutic benefits that Bruce Moon identifies in art interventions in group therapy contexts through the generation of an intentional and careful ritual that would allow the necessary conditions to be generated so that those who participated could feel safe enough at that moment to be able to show up authentically and have a potentially healing experience that would enable: a reframing of the experience of feeling and showing oneself vulnerable in front of others; experiencing the power to share who we are, our creative experience, and being seen from a place of empathy, openness, and respect; feel less alone by recognizing ourselves in the experiences, feelings, and forms of resistance of others; and finally, experience art-making as an expression of shared and collectively sustained hope. Taking these aspects into account, I outlined the following stages for the creative process for the session, introducing different components and activities into each one:

1. Individual art making and self-reflection.

2. Sharing our art in the dyad.

3. Collaborative art making within the dyad.

4. Collective listening within the larger group.

First, there was an invitation to explore individually and through art-making who they are in the present, their needs regarding the relationship, as well as how they perceive the other person and what motivates them to maintain the bond. After this moment, there was an invitation to share within the dyad following some guidelines that focused on active listening, engaging in conversation from a place of curiosity, and centering affection. Then, there was a moment for joint creation. Participants were prompted to create something new taking into account what was shared, in a way that included both their needs and points of view, following guidelines that allowed a collaborative and joyful art-making process. Finally, there was an opportunity for those who wanted to share their experiences to do so within the larger group.

The participation in the last part of the evening was abundant and insightful (I'm going to share just some of the comments that stood out).

First, people spoke about how beneficial it had been to explore art as the starting point and primary way of communication. Participants who considered themselves "introverted" or who struggled to "find the right words" found this to be a beneficial tool to express themselves, one that felt comfortable and expansive. Additionally, the groups reflected on how only collaborative art-making could be a self-care practice. One family unit shared they felt a "moment of respite" for their nervous systems. They pointed out how important this was, especially for children who have suffered domestic violence alongside their mothers (like they had), who have seen all areas of their lives impacted by violence, having to "grow up faster," the importance of feeling this pause through play and shared creativity, and experience their family bond strengthened through joy.

Another reflection shared was about change and self-actualization. They mentioned the importance of acknowledging the other person as they currently are and not only as the version they were while growing up or when they hurt us. They higlighted how recognizing that bonds are not static doesn't impede people from taking responsibility; on the contrary, it underlines change and reparations as possibilities.

In one of the groups, some fathers shared that making art together can "teach us things we hadn't seen," allow us to spend "quality time" together, and express things that "we didn't know how to do." They reflect further into how even when they try to make their parenting style different from what they experienced, communication with their children is still influenced by rigid gender roles, that "it's hard to be patient," that "it's hard to recognize that children can have different times and ways of communicating and expressing themselves," that yelling and "being heavy-handed" are still strategies they use even though they recognize that "they don't work". They identified that their children "having a bad time" or having "behavioral issues" can be due to this, and this be influenced by their own mental health and structural issues beyond their control. For example, one of them shared he and his wife have to work full days, 6 days a week, to ensure their family's basic needs are covered, "I'm always stressed," "I don't have patience or energy left when I go back home." Finally, it was shared that listening to others' testimonies, and how art-making had allowed others to address and share things they hadn't allowed themselves to express before, made it possible to change their own initial decisions of not sharing anything and feeling that even if they cried it would be okay.

Experience in la Casa del Café (documentation with prior consent of participants)

Some of the participants mentioned that this invitation was a first step in seeking support. They had been hesitant to attend when they heard "art and therapy" but, at the same time, felt intrigued. For them, making art as their first approach to the topic had been helpful and resulted in a positive experience. These comments left me reflecting on the therapeutic potential and limits of art as therapy experiences like this when exploring this complex topic, as well as what other activities and group configurations could be explored in the future that feel inviting to people.

Lastly, I want to give my thanks to the venues that hosted the workshops and to the folks who partook in them and shared a bit of their story and experience with us.

REFERENCES

• Markman-Zinemanas, D. (2011). The additional value of art psychotherapy: Visual symbolization. Academic Journal of Creative Art Therapies, 2, 131-139).

• Moon, B. (2016). Art-Based Group Therapy. Charles C Thomas, Publisher, Ltd.

• Regev, D., & Snir, S. (2017). Parent-Child Art Psychotherapy (1st ed.). Routledge.